Elevator Pitch No. 2

1) The pitch.

Please read before watching:

• I am working on swaying side to side. Somehow I keep doing it, but I will get more used to the camera by the 3rd pitch for sure! 
• I understand that I am over on timing and have taken out lots of the fluff!
• The shirt I am wearing is a business shirt and not a track suit even though it looks like it on camera!
• Days after recording, I have a new script that I made after the video, but didn’t want to change the video because I want my third one to be the best! I wouldn’t be able to watch my progress if I uploaded a better one after I already uploaded my second attempt at a pitch. The new script can be found at the bottom of this post (It should come out to 90 seconds instead of 120 seconds because I took out a lot of fluff).

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t3ra31vUsA&feature=youtu.be

2) A reflection on the feedback you received from your last pitch.

All of the feedback that I received struck me as important. I needed to hear what other people thought to continue the success of my idea. I enjoyed that all three comments stated that they liked my product idea. It was great to hear from my peers that it wasn’t a dumb idea because I had previously been worried about that. I also found it very important that my peers commented on the little things in my pitch. There were a few aspects of my last pitch that were unprofessional and I had a feeling that they would be discussed. I did not have the appropriate attire for the elevator pitch and I knew it would stand out. I agree with my peers that the background noises of talking, doors shutting and toilet flushes were very distracting. I enjoyed that one of my peers commented on how I swayed side to side. I do think that it is distracting and am glad that someone pointed it out. I do not think any of my feedback was wrong or silly. All of the feedback given was very useful and insightful, especially about changing the little things. My peers noted that they would be able to take me more seriously if I had dressed in the proper attire and got rid of the other distractions. 

3) What did you change, based on the feedback?

Based on this feedback, I decided to dress in nicer attire. I did not have any business clothes in Gainesville, but now that I am home, I have more appropriate attire for the pitch. With my clothing, I changed my stance, but still swayed because I need to get used to recordings more, and attitude on the pitch. I tried to take this more serious in comparison to my last pitch. I also changed the wording of a few parts of the pitch. I hope that for the final elevator pitch I will be able to memorize what I will say and not have to read off of a screen. I think that it would make my pitch much better overall.

Improved Pitch:

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