Friday, March 20, 2020

Elevator Pitch No. 2

1) The pitch.
Please read before watching:
  • I am working on swaying side to side. Somehow I keep doing it, but I will get more used to the camera by the 3rd pitch for sure! 
  • I understand that I am over on timing and have taken out lots of the fluff!
  • The shirt I am wearing is a business shirt and not a track suit even though it looks like it on camera!
  • Days after recording, I have a new script that I made after the video, but didn’t want to change the video because I want my third one to be the best! I wouldn’t be able to watch my progress if I uploaded a better one after I already uploaded my second attempt at a pitch. The new script can be found at the bottom of this post (It should come out to 90 seconds instead of 120 seconds because I took out a lot of fluff).
2) A reflection on the feedback you received from your last pitch.
All of the feedback that I received struck me as important. I needed to hear what other people thought to continue the success of my idea. I enjoyed that all three comments stated that they liked my product idea. It was great to hear from my peers that it wasn’t a dumb idea because I had previously been worried about that. I also found it very important that my peers commented on the little things in my pitch. There were a few aspects of my last pitch that were unprofessional and I had a feeling that they would be discussed. I did not have the appropriate attire for the elevator pitch and I knew it would stand out. I agree with my peers that the background noises of talking, doors shutting and toilet flushes were very distracting. I enjoyed that one of my peers commented on how I swayed side to side. I do think that it is distracting and am glad that someone pointed it out. I do not think any of my feedback was wrong or silly. All of the feedback given was very useful and insightful, especially about changing the little things. My peers noted that they would be able to take me more seriously if I had dressed in the proper attire and got rid of the other distractions. 
3) What did you change, based on the feedback?
Based on this feedback, I decided to dress in nicer attire. I did not have any business clothes in Gainesville, but now that I am home, I have more appropriate attire for the pitch. With my clothing, I changed my stance, but still swayed because I need to get used to recordings more, and attitude on the pitch. I tried to take this more serious in comparison to my last pitch. I also changed the wording of a few parts of the pitch. I hope that for the final elevator pitch I will be able to memorize what I will say and not have to read off of a screen. I think that it would make my pitch much better overall.
Improved Pitch:
In 2016 alone, 840 cyclists died in accidents. That’s over two cyclist deaths per day. In 2018 there were 6,568 bicycle crashes in Florida alone which resulted in 148 deaths and over 6,000 injuries. Now I am aware that these deaths and injuries are many times due to the automobiles that are driving on the road, however, it is very common to see distracted bikers in these cases as well.

Have you ever realized how difficult it is to ride your bike while jamming to music and paying attention to the cars passing you going 25, 45, or even 55 miles per hour? Biking on the roads alongside cars can be a true nightmare, but with A WEAR PODS there’s no more stress! These motion detecting earbuds turn off your music when a car is passing so that you can focus on what you’re supposed to! It is important to realize that while people bike alongside the backroads and neighborhood streets, some do not have bike paths or sidewalks and bikers sometimes just bike in the middle of the street.

There are two settings for A WEAR PODS. One setting will turn off all music being played and leave the biker in silence, and another setting will play a dramatic sound to where the biker will definitely know that something is coming. Also, when the A WEAR PODS have low battery or the volume is turned down, or even all the way off, the earbuds have been programmed to still play the alert in the biker’s ear. This product is a key feature to the safety of future cyclists.

Since they are purely motion censoring earbuds, there are many other ways to use A WEAR PODS as well. Do you see how valuable this product would be in saving lives? If you are a cyclist or know a cyclist and want to make a change in the way you see biking and its safety, get behind A WEAR PODS.


2 comments:

  1. Hey Carlie! I really like that you opened up your pitch with facts and statistics, that really draws people in and shows a need for your product. You seemed extremely knowable and passionate about your product which is essential in drawing in customers as well as investors. You really built off your previous suggestions and created a flawless pitch! Great job.

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  2. Hey Carlie, I think your presentation was great. It takes a lot to get in front of a camera and talk about something you believe in. You improved a lot since your last elevator pitch and I know you will just keep improving. I would only advise to maybe be more animated during your presentation. Of course being in front of a camera would make anyone nervous, myself especially included, but adding more gestures may help the presentation flow more freely. Great job!

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Final Reflection